Archive for the ‘Death’ Category
Digital Assets. I remember when my parents got their first and only desk-top computer. It was in the late 1990’s and it was a hand-me-down from friends who were early technology adapters. At first, they were very interested in learning how to use it. For a while I believe they were spending more money on computer tutors than food.
When my father died, he had notebooks filled with instructions about how to log on. He wanted to use the computer for word processing and my mother wanted to learn how to use email. However, they both suffered from fear of deletion. That is, they were both terrified that they would delete what they had written, never be able to recover the text or the thought and some how break the computer in the process. Consequently, my father continued to do his creative writing in long hand and my mother used the telephone to communicate.
My mother ultimately overcame her diagraphephobia (can you believe there is a word for fear of deletion?) and became quite adept at playing bridge online, but she never did use email.
It is much more common now for people in my parents’ generation to use computers so that they can communicate with their children and grandchildren. These Digital Immigrants are amassing digital assets. Increasingly, digital assets are a consideration in estate planning. There are companies that have developed products that help to protect digital assets and assure that data is accessible to executors or named individuals after the owner passes away. Entrustet, Legacy Locker and DataInherit are three such companies.
Tips: Check the websites above to see what qualifies as a digital asset. Entrustet has a digital property search function for deceased people. So, even if it was not a consideration during estate planning, the executor can obtain the information. It is always best to obtain a list of accounts and passwords while your parents are still alive.
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Eternity Leave. I recently heard the term eternity leave and like it a lot. Word Spy defines it as job protection and paid leave for people caring for dying loved ones. I would suggest that the definition be expanded to include “deceased loved ones” as well.
Being an executor is extremely time-consuming and for people with full-time jobs can be overwhelming. Increasingly, people are negotiating time-off to fulfill their responsibilities as executor.
There are many things that require time and attention during the normal 9:00-5:00 work day which could distract an executor from their day-job. Disposing of assets and property can often require additional work on-site. Many businesses that an executor needs to contact are only open during work hours.
Some executors are opting to focus a specific amount of time on their executor-duties and request time-off to do so. It can be as simple as a part-time arrangement that allows for a couple of hours a week, or it can be a complete hiatus from work for some period of time. One friend of mine quit her job completely to deal with the complexities of her father’s estate.
Tips: See if your job has eternity leave benefits. Negotiate with your employer for an arrangement that would allow you to complete your executor duties. Consider paying yourself from the estate to compensate for lost wages.
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Co-executors. My parents always strove to treat my sister and me equally and fairly. In death, they wanted to continue the tradition and named both my sister and me to be co-executors of their will. I know that their intent was to have a fair and equal distribution of their assets and not to appear to favor one over the other with the assignation of executor.
My sister lives on the West Coast and I live on the East Coast. To jointly execute the will would have meant countless hours coordinating the signing and notarizing of documents and co-signing checks. It would have been a logistical nightmare.
Luckily, my sister and I have a wonderful and trusting relationship. Soon after my mother died, my sister agreed to formally renounce her role as executor, leaving me as the sole executor. She had no interest in the administrative minutia that is a large part of being an executor. I found being an executor to be extremely time-consuming and was grateful that I did not have the added burden of coordinating every move with my sister.
Tips: Parents should consider the skill sets and availability of their children when choosing an executor. If there is doubt that the siblings will treat each other fairly, consider a neutral party outside the family, like a lawyer. If the choice is to have multiple executors, understand that this will result in incremental time coordinating with each other. Finally, if you are one of multiple executors you can formally renounce your responsibilities.
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Burial plots. In 1948 my father’s father bought a funeral plot with four grave spaces for $300. He put $90 as a down payment and paid the rest in $9 monthly installments. I know this because I found the original deed of sale in my mother’s papers. I subsequently had to reopen my father’s estate in order to transfer ownership of the plots to my sister and me.
Technically, it was one plot with four grave spaces. The spaces were for my grandmother and grandfather who are buried there and presumably their children, my father and his sister. When my grandfather purchased the plot, he didn’t take into account the fact that his children might marry, or decide on different burial arrangements. As it turns out, they did. Two of the grave spaces remain unused to this day.
The cemetery will not purchase them back and resell them – so it is up to the owners to sell the burial plots. And grave spaces can run in the thousands of dollars. I imagined it would be quite difficult and have been procrastinating this sale for several years. As it turns out, you can sell plots on ebay and craigslist as well as a number of aggregators who provide a market to buy and sell plots in multiple geographic areas. For example: Buyandsellcemeteryplots.com, plotexchange.com, plotbrokers.com and thecemeteryregistry.com to name a few. Some cemeteries even have facebook pages. Reselling plots is a virtual cottage industry. Who knew?
Selling a grave site can involve fees levied by the cemetery to legally transfer the deed of ownership. Additionally, the state of New Jersey requires a maintenance and preservation fee which can equal 15% of the purchase price. This is not to maintain the actual grave, but is for maintenance and preservation of the cemetery itself.
Tips: Ideally, you would know the burial arrangements for your parents and would have the proper documentation for any burial plots, vaults, mausoleums, etc. If you are in possession of plots that will not be used, contact the cemetery to see if they will purchase the plots, or at a minimum, what the going rate is for the plots. Additionally, you should find out what mandatory fees exist and what the legal process is for transferring title to the plots. You should also find out if the cemetery has any religious restrictions that would impact your sale.
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Photographs. My father was the photographer in our family. He had a camera at every family event. First it was a Brownie and then a Polaroid and eventually a Nikon with a zoom lens. He wasn’t focused on composition or artful photographs, he was chronicling the events. When he died, he left behind over 15 albums of Polaroids and 85 sleeves of 100 color slides each dating back to 1957. These photos and slides take up a lot of room and are currently occupying a closet in my house.
This is in stark contrast to the over 8000 digital photos I have of our daughter which are all housed on my computer and various back-up cd’s and portable disc drives, none of which would fill a bread box. I have long imagined that I would some day digitize my father’s photos. However, that would be a long and tedious process. There are services now that will do the scanning for you, but you still have to organize your photographs and it is quite costly if you have a huge volume of photos.
We do look at the pictures and thoroughly enjoy doing so. We recognize virtually everyone since they all family members and close friends. My father was meticulous about labeling the Polaroids so in the event we don’t know, we can look on the back and find out.
Tips: If you are taking the slides, don’t forget to take the slide projector. Store the photos in a cool, dry place to minimize further degradation. Enjoy the photos.
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Death Certificates. When my mother died, the gentleman from the funeral parlor asked me how many death certificates I “wanted”. Actually, I thought, I didn’t “want” any. I quickly snapped out of contrarian-mode and asked what he recommended. He said, one for every bank account and 5 was usually sufficient. I got 10. It was not enough.
It is not only bank accounts, but brokerage accounts, insurance policies, credit cards and all sorts of unexpected institutions and corporations that require an original death certificate and letters testamentary, which proves you are the executor. This “prove it” mentality on the part of institutions quickly snapped me out of the denial stage of grieving.
Death certificates are issued by the state in which the person died. So, despite the fact that my mother lived in NJ, her death certificate was issued by NY since she died in a hospital there. Getting extras is always possible, but it is tedious and time consuming and can disrupt the flow if you are acting as executor.
Tips: Get 20. If you are running low, another option would be to include a self-addressed stamped envelope and ask the institutions that require it to return the original to you after they have verified the information.
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Unclaimed funds. I never understood this. Why would any sane person who is not in a witness protection program not claim money that was rightfully theirs? It seems to me that “unclaimed” is just a euphemism for “we-forgot-to-tell-you-that-we-have-your-money-and-are-keeping-it-for-you.”
States require banks, insurance companies, utilities and many other companies to turn over inactive accounts. The state then serves as custodian for the funds until they are claimed.
Our estate lawyer suggested that I search the data bases of the states my parents lived in to see if there were any unclaimed funds. Searching for unclaimed funds is easy and it is free. The states publish the information and it is readily available online.
Sure enough, I found and recovered a couple hundred dollars that belonged to my father. The state data base had his full name and address. Again, I can’t figure out why they didn’t just send him the money or at least a notification while he was alive, but they didn’t.
There are multiple services online now that offer assistance, but they require your email and I assume, ultimately a fee to recover the money that they found for free. Recovering the found funds should not cost you anything either.
Tips: Checking for unclaimed funds is something you can do for your parents while they are alive. Be sure to check for alternate spellings and check in all states where they lived and might have had a bank account. In fact, this is so easy, you should do it for yourself while you are at it!
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Clothes. I remember when I was growing up my mother would occasionally say to me, “You’re wearing that?” Her meaning was clear. She did not like the outfit ~ usually because she thought it did not flatter me. My mother had been a professional clothing buyer and had exquisite fashion sense.
She was very tall and in the 1960’s and 1970’s, most of the department stores and boutiques did not sell clothes in her size, so she learned to sew. She always said that she didn’t want to wear clothes that looked like they had been made by “loving hands at home,” so some of her early efforts were given away. Her first sewing project were mother/daughter dresses ~ identical dresses that she made for herself and me. My father did not like the way hers looked on her so she gave her dress to our housekeeper. I kept my dress. While I loved our housekeeper and was happy to be twins with her, I was a bit jealous when my mother kept the next dress which matched one that she made for my sister Jodie.
My mother became an extremely accomplished seamstress. However, as she got older, much to her delight, stores started stocking clothes in her size and the catalog business made all sizes available to everyone. My mother had so many clothes that when she moved into the independent living facility, she converted the bathtub to a full double-door closet bringing her total of double-door clothing closets to four.
Converting the tub to a closet was a clever way to utilize space that would otherwise go unused. My mother’s apartment had two showers and she was unable to get in and out of the tub, so a clothing closet was the perfect solution.
When each of my parents died, there was an enormous amount of clothing to get rid of. If there are family members who wear the same size, the task could be made easier by giving them the clothes they want. It is much easier with men, because blazers and button down shirts fit into most men’s wardrobes. I found with my mother’s clothes that even if I had worn the same size, which I did not, I would not have wanted the clothes as they were not sufficiently youthful or appropriate for my lifestyle. I could just hear my mother saying, “You’re wearing that?”
None-the-less, I felt that I wanted some clothes to remind me of my mother. I took a few shirts which I use for gardening, but the real treasure trove was in the accessories. Scarves, pocketbooks and gloves for women and ties for men. When we were kids, we would make beautiful costumes out of my mother’s scarves which smelled of her perfume so I was delighted to take as many scarves as I could. Oh, and I took the built-in Singer sewing machine/desk. This despite the fact that I seriously don’t have the foggiest notion of how to use it.
We donated the bulk of both my mother and father’s clothing to charity. There was a sufficient amount of clothing so that we were able to have it picked up in both instances.
Tips: Call around to see what charities will pick up wardrobes. Be sure to have an inventory if you are planning on taking a tax deduction for the donation.
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Telephones. In the early 70’s, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In was a big favorite in our house. In particular, we liked Lily Tomlin’s Ernestine who’s catch phrase was, ‘One Ringy-Dingy’ and who snorted when she laughed. We thought the woman stuck in the old-fashioned era of telephone operators was hilarious.
My parents were hip and modern and not stuck in some bygone era where phones required operator assistance. They made a graceful transition to the age of telephones. This was a time when the only kind of telephone was what we now refer to quaintly as a land line. We had one telephone number and several telephones in our house.
Then came car phones. We considered it a luxury and we never had one. Over time cell phones became more prevalent until there was virtual ubiquity. My father never had one. My mother finally broke down and purchased a cell phone for emergencies. This phone stayed in her pocketbook, drained of its charge, for over a year. Finally, she put it in the cradle at home to charge and it stayed there for another couple of years happily charging away.
My mother finally found a use for her cell phone when she went into the hospital. It was purely a cost-benefit analysis. Hospitals began charging usurious rates for local and long distance calls. Having a cell phone enabled my mother to make calls for a cheaper rate and allowed her the flexibility to make calls when the hospital phones were shut off.
So, in the end, my mother was hip and modern again and totally facile with her new-fangled cell phone.
Tip: Be sure to cancel cell phone service as well as home telephone service. You may be due a pro-rated refund for the last month of service.
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Safe Deposit Boxes. Remember Al Gore’s lock box and the SNL spoof? Lots of people have lock boxes where they store valuable items and papers. My parents had a safe deposit box at a local bank which they referred to as the vault. It was a tiny box at a local bank. It required two keys, one that my parents had and one that the bank provided upon request to enter. There were two sets of doors and it was all very secret and secure. The contents were far less mysterious, a pocket watch that my father inherited and some papers.
My parents’ bank had a manual system for recording box owners. It was a locked drawer filled with 3 x 5 cards with owners and signatures for each box. I was on the list to have access, but the bank had misplaced my signature card. I was able to gain access to the box using power of attorney before my mother died. I took everything out of the box as I did not know when I would be able to get back there.
I tried in vain to turn in the keys as I was leaving the bank and explained that the box was empty. However, the bank employee on duty refused to take them. She told me that in order to close out a box witnesses were needed and they did not have sufficient staff that day.
Several weeks later after multiple phone calls to the branch manager, I brought the box keys to a Virginia branch of the bank and they inter-office mailed them to New Jersey where the box was finally closed out. At that point, I received a frantic phone call from a bank employee who told me that when they opened the box “it was EMPTY!” For a moment I considered feigning shock and anger but thought the better of it.
Important things to note: If your parent is receiving Social Security, they will notify the bank of your parent’s death quickly. Boxes are sealed and power-of-attorney ceases upon death of the principal. While the executor assumes the legal rights and access to the box, there is usually a lag time between death and when the executor is appointed.
Tips: The easiest way to prevent ever being locked out of a safe deposit box is to open them in the name of a corporation instead of a person – as corporations never die. Whether the box is in a corporation’s name or individual’s, there are things you can do while your parents are still alive to prepare you for your eventual role as executor. Make sure that the documentation at the bank is up-to-date and includes all of the necessary signatures. If your parent has moved recently, check with them to make sure that they moved the location of their lock box to a more convenient branch location concurrent with their physical move. Finally, as executor you will have to close out the box and, you will be charged for missing keys. There are usually two keys, try to find them both. Get a receipt or other form of acknowledgement when you return them.
Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.
Julie Rothhouse
The Executor Advisor 