The Executor Advisor   ~ Logistical tips for settling your parents' estate

In Why We Write About Grief from The New York Times on February 27, Joyce Carol Oates and Meghan O’Rourke speak about why they wrote books about the deaths of their loved ones ~ husband and mother respectively. I understand why people write about losing loved ones. Before this blog, I wrote lengthy emails about the declining state of first my father’s health, then my mother’s health and then my own health with my cancer diagnosis to a small group of friends and family.  I had a fantasy that I could write away the wrong that was occurring and at the same time, it grounded me in the reality of it.

I found that carrying out my role as executor had many of the same benefits that writing about grief has ~ it is cathartic and therapeutic.  Importantly, it helped to keep me connected to my parents.  In many ways, I continued to learn about my mother and father by sorting through their belongings, reading their mail and speaking with their friends.

Tip: There are positive aspects to being an executor and helping to settle a loved one’s estate.  Celebrate the connectedness. Preserve their memory. Believe that they would have been proud of the job you are doing.

Information found on this web site is for general informational purposes only based on personal experience and should not be construed as legal, tax or other professional advice. You should consult an experienced attorney , tax professional or financial advisor concerning your particular factual situation and any specific questions you may have.